Voce mea ad Dominum

Random thoughts from an amateur theologist.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Anger to agape

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

God allows you to make a fool of yourself to teach you a lesson. I became acutely aware of this today, and I won't go into great detail, but suffice it to say that I lost my temper and hurt a very good friend of mine. In my anger over a completely minuscule thing, I turned inward and in a selfish tirade lashed out at a person who was only looking for my help. He wasn't trying to inconvenience me or take advantage of our friendship. He was only looking for help. God offered me the perfect opportunity to be selfless, and I failed.

I am ashamed.

As I prayed tonight before my icons, I contemplated the words of St. Paul. Had I put charity or agape first none of this would have happened. I realize that putting charity first is not going to always be the easiest thing in the world, and so once again I come to the reality that only by being open to God's grace will I be able to even attempt to be charitable. But I have no other choice. I have to be charitable for Christ requires it, and I have to rely on grace.

I discussed my issues of anger with my wife, Kriesha, and asked for her advice. I took Kriesha's advice tonight and prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet and prayed for the grace to overcome selfish anger.

St. Paul, pray for me. St. Faustina, pray for me.

Whistle, I am sorry.


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